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As many of you know I was born and inbred here in Salt Lake City, UT. What you may not know is that I was raised as a good normal Mormon who attended church every week, paid a tithe and I even went on to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Montreal. Oui, c’est vrai!
That's me on the right entering the MTC way back in 1996
Quebec was beyond cold!
Over the years you could say I have gone a bit ‘astray’. The hedonistic outdoor lifestyle full of Ullr worshiping pagans doesn’t exactly help keep one on the “straight and narrow”.
I'd explain this photo if I could remembered that night.
So, I was a bit surprised and a little apprehensive when the Mormon church approached me last month. They are engaged in a major marketing campaign to change their image and apparently they want to take it one step further into the outdoor/action sports arena. I told them I’m not practicing the faith any longer, but would be happy to talk. We met up and they asked if two elders could join us. Now I’m not sure if it was the ‘spirit’ or the double espresso I had before the meeting that I was feeling, but they were very persuasive. I bargained hard, they countered and in the end we came to an agreement.
Showing some love!
Lead me, guide me, walk beside me.
I am not allowed to disclose the full extent of our dealings, but I am proud to announce that we will be working together to spread the gospel and the stoke to the wayward mountain folk. Aside from a healthy salary and a reduction of my tithing from 10% to 7%, I will finally receive the “blessings hitherto unknown” I’ve always heard about. I held out for a special clause where in I am still allowed to consume psychedelic drugs and alcohol in order to maintain credibility as a ski bum. However, my past transgressions were a huge concern and cannot be totally overlooked. The best they can guarantee me is a spot in the Telestial Kingdom. This is actually a huge relief since I was certain Outer Darkness would be my eternal resting place. I’m pretty excited to be working with such an amazing and powerful organization. Getting free gear is sweet, but The Church has much more to offer. I will try to keep the preaching to a minimum in future posts, but you can expect me to quote more scripture and give thanks to Jesus for every future success. I guess my mission isn’t over!
Jumping for Jesus!
The church hired this guy to help explain the publicity push.
Happy April 1st to everybody!
The photos and trip reports are great but the mean-spirited Mormon bashing, what a turn off. The video of the idiot trampling sacred vestments was like watching someone I love get raped. Total turn off and I lose respct for you, Mr. Howell.
“Sorry if i offended, not sorry if i made you question your beliefs”. Dear Elder, I’m thoroughly impressed by that statement alone. My vote is that you continue the attempt to be more than just another trip-reporting bro-blog. That’s what keeps ME coming back for more! Nice to see another side of noahhowell.com…and thanks for taking the time to write.
Sounds like somebody’s chick talked him into going to church again… I’ve seen many a friend succumb to that move over the years…
Thanks for the apology.
Funny to have this conversation with you. I live just across 7200 south (I noticed your trailer and truck out in front) from you and I had always thought I’d stop by one day for a quick chat and tell you how much I admire your work.
I have no problem with your April 1 spoof.
Similarly, I found the advertising link interesting. Its description of the Church’s promotion strategy changes and how those changes are expressed in everything from ceremonies to missionary work was insightful. I think that is all legitimate discussion for serious consideration – whether Mo or NoMo.
In contrast I found the Flat Lander link offensive. It made no substantive evaluation or critique of anything about the Church; it only described and mocked the things most sacred to many of your fellow tourers including me.
I hope you appreciate that there are some people who sincerely believe LDS doctrine and hope you can be more respectful of both LDS and all beliefs different from your own.
BTW – congratulations on finishing off the Chuting Gallery. It’s been fun reading about your progress over the years.
Hey DA,
No hatred here, just poking fun at something that is very dear to me. I was raised LDS and think it’s one of the most amazing and fascinating organizations. I know it’s a touchy subject though and the video was a bit much perhaps, but maybe he had some good points in his own wacky way. Why all the changes now? Seems like the one true church wouldn’t need to change it’s most sacred and holy practices? Especially in order to make it more acceptable and mainstream. Maybe that’s not the reasons for the changes. I don’t claim to know, but I’m not afraid to bring up the question.
Maybe I should stick to skiing and leave the satire alone.
Sorry if I offended. Not sorry if I made you question your beliefs.
Wow, that was beautiful, especially the Flat Lander link.
There goes my theory that lots of fresh air, time in the mountains touring with buddies, watching the sun rise, the light change hiking and skiing can cure anyone of a heart full of hate.
I’ve enjoyed your blog and wish you well, but it’s probably time for me to move on to a more positive place.
Elder or Jihadist? The hooded photo has me confused.
donc, j’imagine que tu peux vraiment ganger un peu de force ce weekend…
You almost had me. But all Christians know that Jesus doesn’t telemark.
choisir la bien!
We knew you could do it!
a true powder day saint…
Noah, you need to get hold of a pair of those 07/08 Scott Missions. You know, the ones with Jesus on them ..
http://www.freeride.co.uk/img/review/original/4276_pic1c.jpg
I just got back from that “cold bitter hell” (I would call it that frequently while walking around for hours in mid Feb) known as Quebec for my service a year ago. Luckily I got to spend almost all my time in Montreal itself, and not have to brave les vents terribles d’Alma ou Chicoutimi. Where did you have to freeze?
I, for one, will follow you a lot more closely now that I know you’ve signed on with the one true team!
Just a pointer— I’ve heard that you can only get into the celestial kingdom if you’re married. My sister’s super hot, walks the straight and narrow, and has always dreamed of being a pro-ho. Start spending stormy days working on bringing more spirits to the earth and you’re definitely going to raise your value to these guys. Let me know what you think.
It is better to go skiing and think of God, than go to church and think of sport.
(Fridtjof Nansen)
Brilliant quote Mario! Adding it to my list of favorites.